Patience

I am waiting it seems on so many things.

A baby to arrive, school holidays to start, family to arrive, my dream home, my dream job, twelve hours sleep at the one time, dinner served at a leisurely, civilised pace with cloth napkins and matching plates and polished cutlery, a spotless kitchen and no papers all over the table or toys under the chairs. The children are smiling, my hair and makeup look fabulous and Jon and I engage in lively, cheerful, intelligent conversation (i am just daydreaming, we are all usually just two steps from falling asleep while trying to convince Felix not to throw all his tea on the floor or in his hair, nose, eyes or anywhere else whilst trying to remember if the dog has been fed today).

I know that once these things arrive there will be a list of many more to follow. The list just continues and re-invents itself depending on my current want. Is there another option? We have so many things to be content with now but culture and society urge us on to higher and greater and larger states of wanting, impatience and discontent. We are as a society always waiting and wanting yet no happier than before.

Pause..................

What if i stopped in reflection, counted my blessings, said a prayer of thanks, decided that contentment was a journey worth choosing and pursued that as the most important thing on my list. It is my desire to accept how things are, hope for all that might become, apprecitate all that has been and keep a grateful state of mind for all that I have learned in the waiting.

Dreaming of the Country

Looking at photo's taken on my last trip back home to the country in Queensland has left me feeling somewhat nostalgic. The memories leave me longing for the familiar aspects that seem so deeply ingrained in my thoughts from my growing up years. The smell of the hot sun and dust coating on my skin as I took a walk at the farm to check the crops with my grandparents. The taste of strawberries picked in the heat, still warm from the sun, which taste so sweet and delicious yet at the time I hardly noticed. The ease with which people from the country relate, in good old fashioned hospitality and honesty and integrity. The strong sense of community and belonging which forms when you are born and bred somewhere small. The ability to not take life or one's own importance too seriously. Time has been very kind to me and I remember with affection the great things I gained from the country and the first part of my life. The not so good has gradually faded into a distant and hazy memory. I still dream of a life in the country yet appreciate and enjoy our "city" life we have right now. Who am I kidding, we do after all live in just a big country town. It just comes with water views, fabulous shops, divine restaurants and interesting people, beautiful buildings and many more treasures. We are living the sweet life already.

Winter

I love old buildings, furniture, quilts, objects and anything that tells a story and has some mystery and questions surrounding it. The evidence of being used by another in a past time, the ordinary practicality or the detailed care and attention in it's making. I also have a romantic appreciation of things from the past. I imagine the sense of purpose must be great in constructing the first buildings to grace a place. The sense of pride and satisfaction of a woman completing a warm and comforting quilt for her children. The large and grand proportions of an old building which say, "see we have made our mark". The beautiful colours that have worn over time on the roof and bricks of an outbuilding. The artistic combination of textures in an old home, brick, stone, timber. Strangely these things all seem to remind me of a sense of hope and future and of expectancy. The association between winter and old things is particulary lovely when captured in the beautiful light of a cold, overcast day. The confirmation of the season shown by the lack of leaves on the trees. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am very moved by the appearance and the visual elements of my life. Creating an environment of rest and beauty and inspiration is possibly one of my most defining pursuits. The challenge is to find the balance between contentment and satisfaction of where that has me placed today and not sacrificing the dreams I have for tomorrow................

Bath time

Felix loves bathtime with Daddy. He tells us by pointing and grunting after tea that he is ready to go! He has learnt to clean his teeth and loves having a big chat in the bath. This arrangement works well for me also as I also love to collapse on the couch about this time each day and catch a quiet moment of solitude, rest and reflection on the days events.

Nesting

Today has been busy, busy, busy........we have sorted, cleaned and re-arranged in preparation for the insane household madness that follows when a baby is born. My need to start nesting has definitely arrived and am trying to keep all other family members enthusiastic! We spent yesterday at the soccer watching Lachlan's team defeat the other team from their school by a score of 1-0. This is a fairly normal way for us to spend Saturday mornings, but our superior level of parental committment was confirmed as the entire match was spent in the rain, strong gusts of mountain ice air and I am fairly sure what was small pieces of hail. The consolation was that Lachlan played a superb game and scored the winning goal. I treasure these times watching him and feel so very proud of the young man he is. He has given me so much joy to watch........having boys is so much fun! I had also started the morning with a lovely grown up morning out with two girlfriends at a yummy coffee house. We chatted and laughed and had a delightful morning which was the sustance I needed for the cold match that was to come. Fun and satisfying weekend indeed.